Smilebox

Ok technology and I have a long way to get to know each other. But I made this. My life has been a little rough in the past few weeks. My husband whom I love deearly had triple bypass surgery. it was a shock and out of the blue. He is doing fine now, but I am feeling the emotional mood swings. When I found Smilebox, I had seen it with my quilt shows. But this is really helping me create something, since I am to afraid to leave him for long. He is doing fine. But my fear of losing him has taken over. And I am afraid to be gone. I go to work in a panic. And I do think that my fears are unfounded which is the way most fears are. This is the 2nd week we have been home. I am trying to learn to breathe again.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

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This is Sophie. The first day we brought her home. She was so little. She was a drawf lopp ear. So she didnt get much bigger. She did get a little chubby. She was so cute.

I have so much to say. I had been void for weeks. Mother's Day is always hard. Turmoil at the house. I need the drama to stop. My soul hurts. I went to a concert with hope of finding answers. It was given by Norma Gentile. And I was not disappointed. http://www.healingchants.com/ Friday night Trina and I went together. And then Saturday , I went to the Reiki part. The relief of saying good by to some, releasing, and then finding the new. Mother's Day was pretty easy. I had dealt with some of the pain. It's been 27 years. And yet it seems like yesterday. We stayed home. My request. We organized and cleaned out. Don bought me White roses. Which are my favorite. My daughter bought me a lens for my camera. I had a good day. We spent time as a family. I started playing with the program on the computer for pictures. Very limited, but it is something.

Then Monday, I had felt uneasy and Tuesday I felt uneasy. and about 3pm that afternoon I found out why. Sophie one of my bunnies had a heart attack and died. It was so quick. No sign of sickness. She just fell over. We tried CPR and no luck. She was gone that quick. I screamed. I cried. She looked so serene. Sophie was white with black spots. Lop eared. Attitude deluxe. I sobbed for hours. I called Tina at work and she even came home. She even held me as I cried. I loved my Sophie. Thank God Don was home when she died. He took her out to bury her. I was sobbing. Cozmo our cat who is black with a little white, followed him. Don laid Sophie under the tree and went to get the shovel. Cozmo laid down beside her. They were buddies. Yes a cat and a rabbit can be friends. Don dug the hole and laid her in it. Cozmo stood up and looked like he was saying good bye. Don covered her up. And when he walked away so did Cozmo. Maybe he knew Don needed a little extra help too. I have cried for her all week. Toby her rabbit husband is confused. But he is doing ok now. It still hurts. But I am gald and thankful that she did not suffer.

Last week my son brought me in a rose. He had given a red rose that I grew, to a friend's mom and asked for one of hers for me. My son is 19,almost 20. He brought it to me at work and held it out and I thought of the little boy who always brought me flowers. Now he asks before he picks them.

This was the week of chaos and confusion and letting childern grow into their own. Making their own mistakes. And being there to help pick up the pieces , which you knew were going to be massive.

I didnt have a camera till it was almost to far gone. But the sunshine it brought was like the light at the end of the tunnel. It gave me strength and hope. And it showed me that the bearer of the gift was still my little boy I loved. And we would get through this.

I started to edit this picture. But then I looked at the sunlight and couldnt. The orchid is absoutely beautiful. The light shines brightly and the petals take an angelic look. They are so paper thin. And yet so strong. Their beauty is beyond compare. The smell when you walk in the garden is nothing compared to the most expensive perfume. It is life. It is the beauty of life.

Directions

In my mind, I dont know why I didnt see the end results of this quilt. But it didnt start out like this. The squares were made first. I love the ducks. I used pink cause I didnt like the orange. And from there it took a mind of it's own. I love the hand painted fabric. It came to life.
Isnt this what we do in life as well, we start on a road and then are guided to the right road. And if listen to our hearts, we will find our path. Even by little ducks, who were just swimming around. Can you see all the other animals walking? I am in love with this quilt. Sewing to me is as exciting as photography. You truly believe you saw what you saw. Then you develop the picture and find a new life to it. Something you dont remember seeing. Sewing, is the same way. You start with a pile and then it becomes it's own life. I wonder if people who work with clay feel the same way.

Today I spent the day in the garden. Botanical Gardens. It was spent with a friend who is of like minds. Kindred spirits. And it was so refreshing, not to have to explain, my need to walk slowly. To meditate upon each petal. To praise it's glory. To listen to the laughter of the childern. Their innocence and beauty. The politness of all in the garden today. My soul was renewed once again. And the most beautiful thing I noticed was the orange. Orange is a forgotten color. OR let's say an ignored color. Quilters shy away from it. Not many houses have orange walls. And truthfully not in most gardens either. These pictures have not been retouched. My photo shop program has decieded it doesnt like Vista. Which is the operating system I have. So I am shopping. I need something very very usure friendly.

There is nothing softer than the petals of a flower. The touch of a baby's skin. The velvetey sensous allure of a flower. This started out as a simple White Chryastium. I held onto the stem and rolled it between my hands. It was beautiful. So when I got to photo shop I found a way to duplicate it. The fragance comes to life everytime I look at the pictue. I did add a bit of blue to enhance the beauty. Do you remember as a child turning in circles till you were dizzy and then falling down and watching the clouds pass? I hope this helps you remember those special times and lets that inner child come out and play once in a while.

Learning and links

http://paintedheartstudio.blogspot.com

Ok this will be a quick entry. I talked about my friend Jane, This is her web site. She has amazing things. I am new to this and could not figure out how to do the link. So I am hoping this is going to slove that problem.

It 3 am and I have finally done what I have wanted to do for a very long time. I have a friend who is very talented. Her name is Jane and she is an artist. She has encouraged me to blog. The things that she does are amazing.
So when I started thinking about doing this, I was excited. But what did I truly have to offer. I am a sewer. A photographer. A gardener. A card maker. I love to write. I think that is I like to think I can write.
When I make something with fabric, I study hard the pattern, the fabric I will be using. I become familair with each fiber. And I have learned that in the process of cutting and sewing , that a whole new direction can come about.
The same thing happens when a camera is put in the hands of any one. We look thru the lens and we see what we see. But when the pictures is developed we are amazed sometimes at what we, no what the camera lens saw. And we live in awe.
Whether is be fabric, or paint, or planting... creating is the key. It is spring so this is a good time for me to birth a new idea. Even tho it has taken a long time coming. I am still learning what to do on the blogging thing. But this is a journey.